May the Angels

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It has been almost 10 years since our little family left the mormon church. What I find interesting as I look back is how my reasons for leaving at the time came down to unlocking some horrifying church history, and the church’s attempt to conceal that history.

Yet today, I also find the modern mormon church to be morally objectionable. It has become more fundamentalist, more oppressive, more cult-like, more damaging, more greedy, yet less caring and compassionate, less christian. Its organizational narcissism demands absolute obedience and loyalty, and near-CONSTANT virtue signaling, offering more platitudes yet less substance.

As I reflect upon the last decade, let me share with you an illustrative song which describes someone who leaves their loved ones behind, but blesses them with the help of angels in the void left behind.

As I liken the song unto me, it is the blessing I leave my family and friends still in the church, since I must move forward, move beyond, with or without them. But in my wake, although as an atheist I don’t believe in angels, these angels are a symbol for the love and peace and happiness I wish for them.

“May the Angels” by Alev Lenz

May the angels bow down for you,
And lay their feathers beneath your feet.
May the angels, fill your emptiness,
Guide and lighten up your path.

But I can’t.
And I won’t.

May the angels show you their boundless love,
Like the mother, not the wife.
May the angels soothe and ease your pain,
May the angels instill a will.

I can’t.
I won’t.

I’m leaving.
I’m healing.
I’m growing.
I’m loving.

Because you won’t.
And you can’t.